A few days back, I had an important appointment to attend and naturally asked my brother to drive me to the location. As we went on this ride, I found out that all the specifics of how to move a car that I thought I might have forgotten were still very sharp in my head. I realized I was still very aware of all the right driving tips / road practices to get a car moving safely on the road. From signaling to change lanes to knowing when to give way to other vehicles etc. I remembered them all.
It almost felt like I was the one actually driving the car. Because as he was busy maneuvering, driving and skillfully turning, I was mentally doing the same along with him. The only missing plug is the actual physical me sitting at the driver’s seat moving the car myself. I realized something was holding me back.
Strange right? Because I mean I went to driving school. I had my fair share of Lagos driving schools and all their shenanigans. I learnt how to drive a manually operated car ( stick shift ).
I got lessons on how to drive an automatically operated car when i got mine. I’ve driven along and through major Lagos roads and expressways even if I wasn’t alone in the car. I’ve driven successfully through the “craziness” that constitutes Lagos traffic. But the last time i ever picked up my car keys for a drive was 6 months ago.
What then keeps holding me back. What still stops me from picking up the car keys to drive when I need to go out.
ANXIETY
Anxieties from being all by myself in the car, fear of being vulnerable to other road users. Fear of not knowing the best way to handle the situation if something happens while I’m on the road. And the fear of not knowing where I’m going and becoming a nuisance on the road.
I don’t find driving a car as exciting and freeing as some people say it is. Because I am constantly worried and nervous while driving. I find myself very unrelaxed and so stressed that I don’t really get to feel any form of calm till I arrive at my destination.
Most of the advice I get from people mostly ends with “Just keep on driving till you get over it”. But how do I do that if I don’t enjoy the act of driving at all. If the part of the world where I live is just so congested and traffic-ridden that you can literally spend 3 hours on a journey that’s supposed to take 30 minutes. And how can I achieve that if driving on Lagos roads literally feels like being on a war front. Such that at the end of the day, I’m saddled with so much unnecessary joint and muscle pains.
Maybe the solution is to start all over again, pace myself and stick to driving in areas with less congestion and traffic. Will this work ? I really won’t know till I try. I just thought to share some of these anxieties with you. And to also let you know that you are not alone if you can relate with some of these experiences.
We all go through them. What do you get anxious about, if you don’t mind sharing.
I would love to hear from you.
