Someone once told me I had no future, meaning I had nothing to offer the world. Now whether this person said this in anger or out of frustration, I can’t tell. Whether the said person remembers this statement or not, I still do. And I’m not sure I can remember another time I cried as much as I did on the day this negative remark was made about me.
I can only remember that it hurt me deeply.
For days after, the statement kept on making it’s way through my head. “You have no future”. “You have no future”. I also couldn’t tell anyone about this because I was still hurting.
Another reason is because I didn’t want any other person to even think about associating me in the light of that remark at all. And also because I didn’t want other people to pass judgment on this person on my behalf. You know that thing people do where they inherit “beef” on your behalf. And then they keep hating on the person even when you yourself have worked through your emotions and moved on from it.
You’d ask me why I didn’t counter and refute the statement immediately the person said it. And I will tell you it was so shocking, unexpected and so out of the blue that I was dumbfounded. It really hit me like a stray bullet. And I was so disoriented that I wasn’t able to process my thoughts immediately.
I sat in shock with tears lacing my eyes. And was so absentminded and lost for the rest of that day. It also didn’t help that at that point in my life, I was in that struggling state that quite a lot of people going through the first phase of depression know about. That state where you start questioning a lot of things about yourself.
Wondering if you’re good enough. That state where the first streams of dawn at the start of a new day gets you distressed. And the last rays of sunlight at nighttime makes you a bit comfortable. The state where getting up from your bed every morning feels like a big chore.
That was where my mental state was at that time unbeknownst to this person. Now seeing that I was at an all time low mentally, I internalized the statement -“you have no future”.
I cried every morning after that time, moving through my days in lethargy.
The Negative power of words
That I can write about it now is a testament to the fact that my healing process from the pain of that statement is complete and successful. And that happened through prayers, daily positive self affirmations. And taking myself and my mind out of the vicinity of the wrecking power of that negative statement.
I do not resent the person that made the statement. Because looking from her perspective, I feel like she didn’t think she was doing anything bad. In her mind, she was probably helping me. You know one of those people that use aggressive statements to spur or motivate others to do something that will make them excel.
I just don’t think that tactic works for everyone.
It took a lot for my brain to stop reiterating that statement. And now I ask, how do you move through negative remarks ? Most especially the ones from figures of authority in your life or from close friends or family members.
Let’s chat in the comments. I would love to hear from you.
