It’s been said that introverts think a little too much. We go on random inner musings from time to time on how we can be better or do life better. We like to think deeply and thoroughly about a topic before speaking on it. And this perfectly describes who i am as a person.
Before i started studying more about my personality, i always wondered why i do some things the way i do them. I used to think i was weird because i just couldn’t find anybody that behaved like me. You know how backward the internet space in Nigeria was in the early 2000’s. How readily unavailable it was back then. And how if you wanted to check for anything online, you’d have to visit the the cyber café, pay for browsing time and all of that.
So it was easy for me to accept what my immediate environment labelled me as-
Weird
Socially inept
Antisocial etc.
Someone even went as far as labelling me as someone with lots of issues till i internalized it and started believing it. I went around telling everyone that looked at me weirdly that i had issues. Because i felt the person that gave me that label knew me better than i knew myself.
“Oh Ade, you’re so quiet. Well, don’t you know i’ve got issues. Ade, why do you like to stay indoors? I’m sorry but i’ve got issues. Ade, how were you comfortable just sitting alone at that party? Well, i’ve got issues, miss.
“Whew”… trying times.
As the internet culture in Nigeria grew more advanced coupled with the popularity of social media, things started getting better for me. I started seeing people that think the way i do, people that love the same type of things i love. People that had the same kind of interests that i did and all of that. And honestly, i felt very great and exhilarated about it.
I breathed a sigh of relief to the fact that all those negative labels about me from the past were all wrong.
I started to take myself more seriously by taking various online personality tests to narrow who i was down and to also better understand myself.
It was a whole lot of work “whew”. And even if i’m still constantly learning myself, i am more open to the idea of being ME regardless of what the larger society thinks about that. If i find myself wanting to read and be on my own, i simply do that. If i need to leave a social gathering because i’m suddenly tired and over stimulated, i do just that. And if i feel the need to look inward, self reflect and eliminate distractions, i simply go ahead to do that.
Living life on your own terms is so liberating. There is no bigger source of peace than when you are simply happy doing what you love doing. And even though we need people around us because we simply cannot do this world alone, we have the freedom to choose who we want nearby. If that means sticking to having just a few close friends, so be it.
We get to compartmentalize our friendships and choose how big or small our circle is.
Can you relate with this piece. If you can, what are some of the struggles you passed through on the road to owning your personality and being the kind of person you want to be.
