I think humans are naturally self centered. I might be wrong but I think our DNA / physical structure is innately self pleasing. From my point of view though, I think there can be good “self-centeredness” ( if there is a word like that ) and there can be bad “self-centeredness.
An average human’s thought at the start of a day is going to likely consist of things to make him or her feel better, look better or earn better. Things to satisfy his or her personal desires. Every other person or thing comes after satisfying these needs.
Only a few percentage of humans get to narrow their thoughts down to “what can i do today that’s going to make the world just a little bit better for others.
Now whether we get to be part of these few sets of people is going to largely depend on our moral upbringing or the type of molding we got from parents or the larger environment.
We make choices everyday. And whatever choice we make on every second of everyday, whether this leans towards “good self-centeredness” or “bad self-centeredness” is going to directly or indirectly affect other people that we share this world with. Like it or not.
Oh… I want to venture into philanthropy. Why ? Because it’s going to make me feel happy and fulfilled that i’m able to ease the suffering of people in need or less privileged.
See that, the word “ME” in between those sentences ?
Let’s delve deeper into the reason behind some marriages. Why are you getting married? Because I don’t want to do this life alone. I want to have a partner that cares for me as much as I care for him ( at least that’s a good reason, isn’t it ). For some people, the reason leans towards financial gains or because they want a baby making machine or a free maid.
Why are you friends with the people you are friends with? Is it because you share a connection with them. And genuinely love to be around them or it’s because of what you can get out of that friendship.
Why do you want to have children? Because I want someone that will take care of me when I am old and frail. ( Not exactly bad but it’s still a form of self-centeredness).
It essentially all comes back to what “YOU” want.
Now I’m not going to dwell too much on the bad side of being self centered. Because we see it everyday, we live it everyday. And each one of us has at least had a first hand experience of how other people’s selfish choices affected us.
To round this up, I’m going to talk a little about this book I just read. “Because of you” by Dawn French ( long listed for the 2021 women’s prize for fiction ) in which one of the characters had a stillbirth delivery. This got her so heartbroken and devastated that she stole another woman’s living baby from the hospital out of desperation to ease her own pain. If that is not a big example of selfishness and “bad self-centeredness”, I don’t know what is.
Because she herself just experienced what it was like to lose a child. But she still made the choice to cause another human the exact same kind of pain just to satisfy her own need.
Ok, what do you think of this piece ? Do you disagree? Am I right or Am I wrong ?
I would like to hear from you.
