In each and every friendship we make in life, there are amongst them people who are very present and people who are not. And when I say present, I mean people who actively listen when you’re speaking. Not people who try to talk over you or put whatever you’re saying down. Being present or living mindfully also means you’re focused and engaged in the here and now, not distracted or mentally absent.
To put a smile on the faces of other people sometimes doesn’t take a lot. It’s all in the little things we take for granted everyday. So being present and actively listening when we are with our friends makes it become relatively easy to notice certain nuances about them.
What type of gift items they would like, grand gestures they will appreciate. And fun experiences that will get them positively surprised and elated. When it comes to getting people things, I’ve come to realize that thoughtful gifts take higher precedence and completes the job better. As they make the person feel heard and loved which in turn leads to a stronger friendship bond.
Sometime last year, I was chatting with this guy because we were trying to get to know each other better. From talking about ourselves and what we did, I drifted into talking about my blog. Expectedly, he asked for the link. And I don’t know why but I felt a little reluctant sharing it with him.
Maybe because I was still a bit guarded considering the fact that we were practically still strangers. But after sometime, I reconsidered and dropped the link. Now I would assume that after such a conversation, this person would check out my said blog and come back to drop comments or opinions on what he thinks about the blog.
But I assumed wrong because apparently this person just felt like patronizing me. And only asked for the link for “asking sake” if there is a word like that. Now I’m thinking how on earth did he hope to build a connection with me if he overlooks something as important as that. Because I believe him checking out my blog and discussing it with me would have taken us higher steps in building a connection with each other.
But maybe we both didn’t have the same goals or intent anyways. Seeing as it appears like he probably only wanted something on a surface level. Anyway that was that. And the beginning of the end of that friendship or relationship or whatever. Because for me it’s a red flag.
I hope we all do better with our friendships, learning to stay present and actively involved in the lives of our friends.
What do you think of this piece. Can you relate with it ? Please type in the comments section, I would love to hear from you.
