With the new year comes the end of all mandatory parties / festivities at least for now. No more end of year office parties / large Christmas gatherings organized by friends. Events which can be difficult to get out from because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. Not until Easter perhaps and that’s like four months away.
Whew…Thank God.
We introverts can at least get some breathing space until then. Because some of those parties / gatherings can be a little draining sometimes. With the large crowd and all of the small talk going on, getting a headache out of it is sure fire. It’s not that we hate parties or anything like that though.
The thing is just that most parties are run in a way that makes it best suited to extroverts. So if you care about the introverts around you, here are 5 things you shouldn’t do when you invite one to your party.
Rule 1
It’s fine if you notice we are sitting alone. It doesn’t mean we feel neglected. We might just be studying the party and getting ourselves acquainted with the environment.
Rule 2
One on one conversations at your event is fine. If we feel up to it and have something to talk about, we’ll indulge. We just don’t like small talk because it’s super draining. It doesn’t mean our mouths can’t perform the function of speaking. Sometimes we are quite comfortable listening and getting ourselves acquainted with you instead of speaking.
Rule 3
Don’t question our quiet nature. Because it’s exhausting when you keep hammering on our being quiet. You might be trying to get us more involved at the gathering which is not bad. But on the other hand, you’re also unconsciously marking us out as the odd one out or the party pooper.
Rule 4
Introverts are comfortable being on the sidelines. If we don’t want to be center place, don’t go out of your way to draw attention to us. We are not obligated to entertain people at your party. Neither did we make you a promise to do so.
Rule 5
Introverts enjoy parties when they are amongst friends or people they have a connection with. Partying with strangers can be a bit difficult and unnerving. So if you’re sending a party invite to an introvert, you may as well invite one or two of their friends or significant other.
And that’s it really. I am an introvert. I am comfortable with my introversion because it is not a disease. You do not need to worry about me when you see me sitting alone at an event.
I am perfectly fine the way I am. I don’t care for small talk. I care more about meaningful conversations than I do about small talk. Because small talk wears me out.
Contrary to popular belief, I am quiet doesn’t mean I am shy. I am a full, confident, complete human being. And I know you don’t mean any harm but don’t make my quiet personality an issue. Don’t call attention to it because doing that means you’re going out of your way to make me uncomfortable.
Not every human is loud. And we do not like to pretend that we are. We were not all born extroverts. So I hope with these few points of mine, we all will learn to do better when we invite introverts to our gatherings.
If you’re an introvert, feel free to share this post with your extroverted friends.
xx
